Priorities: the "Honey Do" List vs. Building as a hobby

[nkwak]

I love my wife and (though at times I lapse in my attentiveness) I want to make her happy. OTOH I embarked on a guitar building project because I needed a break from family demands and do something constructive and tangible so that I could sit back and show 'em that I can do something.

That being said, this guitar thing (be it building, playing or just discussing with others) has been labeled as an "obsession" and I'm starting to get funny looks and disgruntled rumblings so I'm wondering if there's a balance to be found. For instance, my wife has been lamenting about how she'd like to have a new kitchen or have some home improvement projects done that have been beyond my abilities to complete. Since I've been reading up on woodworking and tooling up I'm wondering if these might be an opportunity to build skills and get back in the family's good graces?

So how about it? Are there some projects around the house that could help develop skills that would serve me in my "obsession?" Here are some on my "honey do" list:

- install new kitchen counters, most likely granite?
- replace some rotted wood on the pillars on my front porch
- replace the beat up linoleum kitchen floors with hardwood flooring

These have to have some skill equivalents with lutherie, right? If anything, there IS a ukelele kit I ordered from Grizzly that I intend to finish for my son's birthday in March.

Gotta go for now, but these are just a few ideas. The honey do list is actually much longer!

[tippie53]

Hey take the counter top and learn to inlay LOL . Remember that the wife is the BOSS , wake up every morning look her straight in the eye and say " I am so sorry dear , I am a guy and don't know no better , Genetically we are born to be once Men and twice Boys "

[rgogo65]

I was lucky I guess..I was playing full time when I met my wife almost 50 years ago and She knew it was part of the baggage when she started out helping me move amps and guitars and mic stands and enduring practice sessions and 2 AM tear-downs..and on and on...

So when I pretty much quit playing other than at home, and started building 3 years ago... she was so happy not to be moving all that crap she thought it was a vacation of sorts and so happy to be HOME nights that we're SOOoooo "Good to go"....

I'm afraid one of these days she'll wake up and discover what's actually happened and I'll be in for it...but right now....it's Marital Bliss! WhooooHooooo! <:0)8

[johnnparchem]

I very reluctantly make this comment, but over the years I have found that family disputes are rarely about the issues being discussed, they are often a proxy for other harder to express issues. If an interest in guitars is viewed as “a break from family demands” why would one expect the families support?
As for the honey do list, you will find that new kitchen floors will make the cabinets look worse, and it already sounds like counter tops are already on the list, the remodeled kitchen will make the nearest room look dated (at least a new paint job …) it goes on and on. But on the positive side my wife and I working together (she has no carpenter skills) remodeled our first home together including a complete kitchen remodel and building a large enough attic dormer for a master bedroom suite. Over all it was a positive experience although things did get a little tense when she was 6 months pregnant and the house was not quite finished. Now she never questions the tools I buy and she also know that every new job needs at least one new tool.
I would avoid the granite counter tops. I tend to focus on projects where the materials are cheap and the labor is expensive. If I was to go through the expense of having a custom countertop built, I would have it installed.
In any case the work you do for the house and family return giant dividends.

[nkwak]

LOL! I guess I was just looking for a laugh and you guys accomplished that goal. I guess I just feel like I need to be more "proactive" about things and this seems like a good place to start.

[enalnitram]

I'm guessing everybody's household experiences are going to be different. But I'm thinking, for the most part, that guitarmaking skills and tools are not going to carry over. You just need to balance it out. On my end, I guess I have gotten sorta lucky. My wife happens to be kinda clumsy, and she'd be the first to admit it. It seems like every other week, or sometimes, every week, she is breaking something wood, ceramic or plastic. So I get out the titebond and the superglue and the clamps and I'm her hero...for five minutes.

She is supportive of the hobby, though. I just remind her that I don't use the cable, rent movies, read books, etc etc etc... and that it's what I do for fun, and that it will start to pay for itself, ... in retirement?

Home improvement projects can be challenging, in a sorta good way, and very satisfying to complete. I recommend this book, for anyone!
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/ ... bookstoror

It covers almost EVERYTHING. They even go through all the power tools and give tips and such. Check out the reviews. It's excellent.

[Kevin Sjostrand]

My wife is appreciating my guitar building, but I must take care to keep it in perspective. She needs my attention too!! :>)
If I'm careful, the honey doo list doesn't get too long at any one time.

Kevin

[tippie53]

Hire one of those helpful husband guys , they paint , fix pipes and heck show him the guitars and he may help you

[Darryl Young]

Unless you know what you are doing, I would also advise staying away from installing the granite counter tops. After spending that much dough, you want the seams to disappear etc.......and what happens if you break one? It's not a 1 man job.