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I know it must be possible to achieve a smooth uniform finish because people do it. But I sure am finding it difficult!!!!

As John is fond of saying, "it's not what you put on, it's what you leave on." You have to get sufficient build up to smooth it down. If you don't lay enough finish down you can't get it smooth. There is a balance between leaving too much on and taking too much off. But I found once I started putting enough on the finish started coming out right. Of course this is a little over simplified, there is a trick to what abrasives to use and when to get that smooth finish.

What seems to be your problem area?

The other thing I learned mostly the hard way is that 95% of a good finish happens before any of the final finish is applied. If the finial finish is being applied to a surface that is absolutely level, it is easier to use sand paper to re-level the final finish. Without a spray gun it is hard to lay down a perfect finish so as Tim says you need to have enough finish on so that you can use abrasives to get it level and polished.

Instead of chasing wipe on oils, If you want to pad on a finish I would stick with shellac, or if you want something harder Royal-Lac (a hardening shellac product) .

it is all about the prep
We have a filling video coming out soon that may help. It is easier to make a great sounding one than a pretty one

Prep, prep, prep, the better it is done the better looking and easier the finish goes on. Filling and sealing is another place that people often spend too little time and attention. While everyone else is worried about sanding between coats of finish I am sanding bare wood and sealer.

Patience! To do what is required. Patience! To allow sufficient drying time between coats. Patience.